Archive for November, 2007

Spolier: Shorty Street really is shit

But you knew that already. Nice to see the folks at Grundy can take time out from making such *cough* quality *cough* shows like Shortland St and Dancing With The Stars to film a few fake cliffhangers to keep ’em guessing. I WISH this wasn’t a hoax – maybe then it’d be worth watching!*

*Shut up, Simonne!

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Friday Funnies

Sorry kids, it’s been a hell of a week and I just haven’t had that blogging fever. Two posts of tenuous substance is below even my abysmal standards (although I swear I can go lower!). I promise to do better next week.

In the meantime, here’s a quick peek at the most popular search phrases that brought in this week’s crop of newbies. A few new ones this week, emphasised for your reading pleasure. Because – let’s face it – you are some lazy bastards.

one legged people
workplace diversity
“If you don’t swing, don’t ring.”
latest porn
you better watch out you better not cry
christmas advertisement – you better not
john wayne gacy jr
what makes a great viral video?
diversity workplace
sneezed on your breasts

I wonder who’s curing cancer and running the shuttle program at NASA while these fine, intelligent folks are reading my blog?

The trick to creating great viral video

Dan Ackerman Greenberg posted a great article to TechCrunch last week, sharing his insight into what makes a truely effective viral video. I like the article because it speaks to a lot of thinkgs I’d wondered recently about exploiting video sharing sites for publicity purposes.

**And before you all jump in and give me shit about siding with a spammer… Yes, I accept that a lot of what Dan talks about isn’t exactly ethical. As the saying goes, however, this ain’t show friends this is show business. Show me the money! Show me the money! Show me the money!

Sorry, must be having another one of them Jerry Maguire moments.

In terms of traffic generation, online video is a hugely underestimated opportunity. There is an entire industry dedicated to mastering the Google algorithm (for all its complexity), but promotion and dissemination of video content is still in its infancy by comparison. Given that contributors can assign their own tags and categories to video content (unlike web pages, which are assessed by the search engine and subjected to a veeeeeeeeeeeery complex classification algorithm), a little foresight and imagination can go a long way in terms of exposure and appeal.

Example: they’ve probably blocked this now, but about 6 months ago I got thousands of views on a stupid clip of my dog chasing a stick simply by applying the tags PORN SEX and NAKED when I uploaded it to YouTube. A rather inane experiment, I know, but you would get NOWHERE pulling that crap with traditional SEO.

Anyhoo, the article is a little long winded but I definitely recommend you make some time to take it all in. For those of you working on their next heart attack here’s the abridged version…

Secret #1: Not all viral videos are what they seem

2. Content is NOT King

Here are some guidelines we follow:

* Make it short
* Design for remixing
* Don’t make an outright ad
* Make it shocking
* Use fake headlines
* Appeal to sex

3. Core Strategy: Getting onto the “Most Viewed” page

So how do we get the first 50,000 views we need to get our videos onto the Most Viewed list?

* Blogs
* Forums
* MySpace
* Facebook
* Email lists
* Friends

4. Title Optimization

5. Thumbnail Optimization

6. Commenting: Having a conversation with yourself

7. Releasing all videos simultaneously

8. Strategic Tagging: Leading viewers down the rabbit hole

9. Metrics/Tracking: How we measure effectiveness

Have a great week!

And yes, you’re all still freaks!

Search phrases bringing wierdos to my beloved blog this week include:

  • harry potter sex tapes
  • crazy old asshole
  • harry potter sex
  • buying a jumbo jet

If I wasn’t one of you I’d be disgusted. As it is I’m just plain embarrassed.

Have a great weekend.

A bad day at the office?

Note to self – do NOT park illegally in Parnell. The clip below was shot out of my office window this afternoon as our friendly neighbourhood towie made his rounds. I’m sure there’s a rational explanation for his… *erm* innovative approach, but I’d rather not know. This is just too damn funny as it is!

Stickin’ it to the man (ok, to the woman)

If it’s not completely obvious, this Electoral Finance Bill thing has really rubbed me the wrong way. If you read my blog on a regular basis, odds are you like what I have to say and/or the way I say it. The value (artistic or otherwise) of what I write is debateable, as evident by some of the hate mail I’ve received over the years, but if you dig beneath the fart jokes and ranting I believe that the dialogical act of blogging is a beaufiful expression of our (endangered) democratic freedom.

You’ve probably guessed by now that my own political leanings sit just a little to the right of Ghengis Khan’s. You either agree with me or you don’t, but that’s ok – I have a right to my beliefs, you have a right to your own, and we both have the freedom to try and sway each other with reasoned discourse and hopefully make the world a better place along the way.

Anyhoo, I’ve been thinking…

As much as there are many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many many … *gasp!* many many many many many political idealogies out there that I disagree with, the one that pisses me off the most is the one that attacks the essense of democracy, the basest human right beyond the right to life itself – freedom of speech.

The Electoral Finance Bill was designed to restrict free expression of ideas by limiting the money that could be spent attempting to reach people. Ok fine. If you want to play that way, the gloves are off. Leave your checkbook at home. ‘Free’ speech it is.

As of January 1st 2008 I will publish any and all information (press releases, promotional videos, event invitations, policy statements etc) provided to me by any organisation hoping to influence the outcome of the general election. Send me your material or a link / RSS feed to your material (e.g. your video stuff really should be at YouTube etc) and I’ll do my damndest to make sure as many voters see it as possible. I’ll post it to my own blog, apply social bookmarks, email it to my friends, and I’ll also compile it into a custom ‘NZ elections’ RSS feed that I’ll encourage other bloggers to pick up.

Who’s with me?

ps. Don’t worry, kids – the fart jokes and ranting will still be here in abundance.

Big ups to the big man

Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta respect Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for his personal blog*. He’s certainly not the most prolific poster, but he does appear to have at least grasped the basics:

  1. If you claim it’s a personal blog, write it yourself. People can smell bullshit, and I could show you dozens of examples where it’s completely obvious all posts have come out of the PR or Comms departments.
  2. Blogging is a dialogue. If you’re going to state your views you should be open to hear other people’s. I HATE blogs that don’t support comments, and don’t feel much better about those that moderate.

Are Ahmadinejad’s comments moderated? Let’s look at a few (my comments in paretheses)

I hate you. you are retarted. that simple mentally retarted – john jacobs, USA (USA? No shit!)

You are a terrible, despicable human being. You WILL be attacked by the US or Israel and will be destroyed! – Your Gone (a.k.a. I’m Illiterate), UK

How does it feel to be the most hated person on the planet? – Martha Washington, USA (‘the planet’, in this instance, no doubt meaning the city of Incest Alabama or whatever middle-of-nowhere slum is was that this chick was born in and never left)

Um… I think it’s safe to assume they’re not being moderated. So what do you think – reckon Bush or Clark would have the stones to give blogging a try?

Don’t ever forget – open democracy begins and ends with the free expression of ideas.

*I know I’ve mentioned this before. I just dropped in today to see if he was still posting. Sporadic at best, but I’m surprised and impressed to see it’s still on his radar.